Forbidden Fruit
by Free-Imagination318
Summary: Slight AU. Everyone Lives. Movieverse. Fili/Kili. With dwarves from the Iron Hills arriving in Erebor, Thorin expects Fili to find a bride. No one is more unhappy with this news than Kili - who has secretly been in love with his brother for years. But, when Kili meets a fellow archer, his brother's behaviour makes him wonder if his dreams aren't as beyond reach as he once feared.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** This is slight AU set after the Battle of the Five Armies - the events leading up to it are the same as they happened in the films, save for the relationship between Kíli and Tauriel - they are simply friend's in this.

 **WARNINGS:** This fiction is SLASH between Fíli and Kíli. Please do not read if this isn't your cup of tea and if you do; remember it's only fiction.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything by J. R. R. Tolkien or Peter Jackson.

Thank you all for taking your time to read this and I hope to hear what you all think.

* * *

 **Chapter One**

\- O -

As Kíli, son of Dís walked towards the training hall, the sounds of metal clashing upon metal reached his ears.  
The young prince smirked and silently slipped into the vast stone room, stopping for a moment to observe the two dwarves duelling for victory within the sparing ring. He wasn't the only spectator, a small crowd had gathered around them, having given up an pretence of training in favour of watching the contest unfold.  
The larger warrior of the two was taller and broader even than most, but moved with a lithe grace that spoke of unmatched experience against enemies, and in war.  
Dwalin was certainly a force to be reckoned with, many a brave dwarf who challenged him ending up sorely regretting their offer. However, his opposition on this day easily kept up with the larger dwarf with a surprising amount of grace and skill of his own.  
In a whirl of golden hair, corded muscle and wielding his dual swords, Fíli perhaps even matched Dwalin's technique as they clashed, sword against axe, over and over, unable to bring down the other. However, it seemed that his brother's good fortune was to last.  
In a move too quick to follow, the Crown Prince knocked one twin axe from the warrior's grasp, kicking his feet from under him and pinning the larger dwarf - the very tips of his swords pressed against his throat.  
"Do you yield, Master Dwalin?" And there was more than just a hint of triumph heard in Fíli's voice.  
"Aye! Aye! Get off now will ya', lad?" Came the gruff reply, and the prince backed away, his grin not easily missed.  
Kíli walked towards the ring then, his hands clapping together in recognition of his brother's conquest. "Why brother, I wouldn't gloat so. After all, this is but one victory against hundred's lost."  
Fíli turned towards Kíli in surprise, but his smile was no less bright even with the other's taunting words. "Indeed, this is the first against Dwalin, but I daresay not the last."  
The youngest prince hoisted himself over the wooden barricade and went to his brother, clapping a hand against his bare shoulder. "Let us hope not, brother. Your ego may never recover otherwise."  
Fíli laughed heartily and returned the embrace. "Aye. Now come, Kíli. A drink at the Smith's Hammer is in order I think. Let's celebrate."  
Kíli readily agreed, but before leaving, turned to the defeated warrior with a grin. "Master Dwalin-"  
The dwarf glared at him. "It was pure luck." He interrupted with a growl.  
Kíli simply laughed. "Or you're getting rusty with age."  
"Ya' think so, lad? Shall we test that then? You and me?" As Dwalin reached for his remaining axe, Kíli took an unconscious step back to the uproarious laughter of his brother.  
"That's what I thought." The larger dwarf smirked, knowing full well that he could beat the youngest prince with one arm tied behind his back.  
Fíli was still laughing as he pulled his brother back over the partition and away from the ring.  
As they made their way out of the training hall, Kíli couldn't help but glance at the elder, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of his brother's face flushed with happiness. An all too familiar feeling clawed at Kíli's heart and, like always, he forced down the emotion.  
It was approaching on two decades ago that Kíli first realised that the love he felt for Fíli wasn't purely of a platonic nature. Since that day, he had tried his hardest to hide his shameful emotions, fearful of his brother's reaction above all others.  
It was very rare, but not unheard of, for dwarves to fall for those with whom they shared the same blood, but it usually happened between cousin's, never siblings. Even so, Kíli would often allow his thoughts to wonder, imagining what it would feel like if Fíli loved him in return, if their relationship was accepted by others. But deep down, he knew that it was impossible. For starters Thorin would never allow it. Why would he? Fíli was the future King Under the Mountain and was expected to one day marry and produce heirs of his own.  
Kíli tried desperately not to think about that, but it was impossible and every time he did, his heart twisted painfully and his breath felt short in coming.  
"Why the long face, brother?"  
The young prince looked up startled, not realising that he had been letting some of his emotions play across his face. "I am fine. I was just lost in thought is all." And as the weight of Fíli's gaze bore down on him, he gave his brother a pat on the back and a laugh to hide his discomfort. "Truly I am fine. Now go and dress, Fee. Otherwise you will be fending off suitors left and right in your state on undress."  
Seemingly convinced that Kíli was, in fact, alright, the elder grinned before heading off to his chambers to find a fresh set of clothing.

\- O - O - O -

The Smith's Hammer was the only tavern within the Lonely Mountain and thus a popular place for dwarves to gather, drink and be merry.  
Sitting at the far end of the bar, Kíli could hear his brother, who was sitting at a table further away, as he spoke animatedly of his victory to all who would listen.  
Over the brim of his tankard, the young prince allowed himself a rare moment to gaze unreservedly upon his brother. He saw the way his eyes lit up in good humour, how his mouth seemed curved into a permanent smirk, the swish of his braids as he moved and spoke, and the way that every dwarf gathered around him hung off his every word.  
Kíli hated every single one of them.  
In the pit of Kíli's stomach, an ugly feeling reared it's head. Jealousy. As hard as he tried to push it down, it grew as his eyes tracked each unwanted brush of fingers against his brother's arm, leg or shoulder.  
Unconsciously, his hand clenched into a fist and his gaze turned dark until nearly murderous.  
He cursed his bloodline, and not for the first time. However, the young prince didn't wholly mean it, else he wouldn't have the close relationship with his brother as he did.  
Fíli's re-enactment of his victory finally drew Kíli from his black thoughts, and he couldn't help but laugh as his brother made a show of how he'd managed to disarm Dwalin.  
"Excuse me, but would I be wrong in assuming that you're Prince Kíli?"  
Kíli turned to the raven haired male in surprise, realising that he had been so caught up in looking at his brother, that he had failed to notice anyone approaching.  
After taking a moment to observe the short bearded dwarrow with dark blue eyes, and realising that the dwarf didn't appear to be much older than himself, the prince bowed his head in acknowledgment. "Just Kíli, please. You can save the titles for my brother."  
The dwarrow rocked back on his heels, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Erm…well yes, yes, fine."  
When the dwarf didn't elaborate any further, Kíli raised a brow of his own and he took a quick swig from his tankard before speaking. "And you are, Master Dwarf?"  
"Oh! Yes, forgive me your High-Kíli. I'm surprised is all. I didn't expect you to be so…so…"  
"Relaxed?" He helpfully supplied.  
"Exactly!" The dwarrow took in a deep breath and seemed to compose himself. "I am Rordin, son of Ordrin. At your service." And he gave a short bow.  
"Well met, Master Rordin. Have you recently arrived to Erebor? I don't recall seeing you before now."  
"Please, forget the title. And aye, I have journeyed from the Iron Hills with my father for the anniversary of your victory."  
 _Ah yes._ Kíli thought. In two weeks time it would have been five years since the Battle of the Five Armies and now that Erebor had been rebuilt, Thorin, with the weighted encouragement of his advisors, was throwing a celebration in remembrance of our triumph.  
"Well then, allow me to welcome you properly into our Mountain." And he set aside his empty tankard, signalling the bartender for two more.  
"Oh, well thank you." The dwarrow seemed a bit flustered and Kíli couldn't help but smirk at his discomfort.  
"So tell me, Rordin. Why do you keep your beard so short?" It was quite a rude question to ask, especially considering he'd only just met the dwarf, but Kíli was unable to contain his curiosity at such a rare sight. Aside from himself, Uncle was the only dwarf to keep his beard deliberately shorn and that was out of respect and in remembrance of those who had fallen since the dragon came.  
Rordin bristled at bit at such a direct question, but didn't seem overly offended. "I could ask you the same thing."  
"Archery." Kíli said instantly, unashamed of this fact.  
The dwarrow grinned then. "Then we have something in common."  
The young prince couldn't help but be surprised and his own smile spread easily across his face.  
Archery, although used when needed, was not a common practise for dwarves as they often found the skill better suited to elves.  
Their tankards of ale were set upon the counter then and after thanking the bartender, Kíli passed one to Rordin, holding his own in the air. "Here's to the oddity of archery and short beards!" And they both laughed heartily before taking a swig of the amber coloured liquid.  
"I…admit that our meeting wasn't purely by chance." Rordin said after a moment, looking down briefly before meeting the prince's eyes once more.  
Kíli regarded the dwarrow with sudden wariness. "Oh?"  
"Not many of the dwarves favour the bow and I had heard of your skill with the weapon."  
Kíli relaxed and couldn't help but flush in pleasure at hearing this.  
"I…had hoped…" Rordin trailed off and the prince grasped the other's arm, suddenly understanding what the dwarf was trying to say.  
"Would you like to shoot with me?" And he sorely failed at trying to temper down the excitement in his voice.  
The dwarrow grinned without reserve, raising his tankard into the air "It would be an honour indeed, Kíli!"  
The young prince couldn't help but laugh, never before having the pleasure of a shooting companion. The very thought was exhilarating.  
At that moment his eyes sought out his brother, and noticed with a start that Fíli was already staring at him, a frown creasing his brow. Even so, his heart gave a familiar flip and he spared his brother a smile, before turning back to his companion and clamping a hand over the dwarf's shoulder.  
"Are you busy tomorrow?" He asked eagerly.  
Rordin shook his head.  
"Well ready your bow, we shall go into the forests and shoot something other than mere targets."  
The dwarrow looked surprised, but incredibly pleased by this. "When shall I meet you?"  
Kíli thought about this for a moment. "The front gates, mid morn?"  
Rordin grinned and nodded his agreement. "I look forward to it, it will be a true pleasure!"  
"What will?"  
Kíli couldn't help but tense at the sound of his brother's voice, suddenly and unexpectedly so close. "Brother, allow me introduce Rodin, son of Ordrin." And when he glanced over his shoulder, started at the fact that Fíli stood with less than an arms width between them.  
Heart suddenly in his throat, Kíli took a small step forward as Rordin gave the Crown Prince a bow.  
"Prince Fíli. It is an honour." The dwarrow said once he had straightened.  
His brother bowed his head in return. "Likewise. So, what were the two of you discussing before I interrupted?"  
"Kíli has asked me to hunt with him, it seems that we both have a love of the bow."  
Kíli was unable to decipher the look that passed through his brother's eyes then, but in an instant it was gone again.  
"Well it seems as though you are no longer the odd one out, Kee." And Fíli grinned teasingly at him.  
"Neither of us are anymore." And as Rordin laid his hand on Kíli's arm, the youngest prince smiled in return, missing how his brother looked upon the grasp with a slight frown.  
"Now then, the hour is late and if I hope to be on time tomorrow, I must retire. Goodnight Prince Fíli. Kíli, I will see you in the morn." And with one last smile and a bow, the dwarrow quickly disappeared into the dwindling crowd.  
After watching Rordin leave, Fíli turned back to his brother. "I see you have made fast friends with that dwarf."  
Kíli's grin came easily as he missed the undercurrent within in the elder's voice. "Aye indeed. Perhaps the coming banquet won't be so boring after all!"  
"Oi!" Fíli exclaimed, elbowing his brother. "I'll be there."  
Kíli laughed, slinging an arm around the elder's shoulders. "Yes, but you'll actually have to behave like the Crown Prince with all of those foreign dignitaries visiting."  
Fíli scoffed. "As will you, brother."  
The youngest prince merely smirked. "No one will be paying as much attention to me. Besides, I have full intentions of leaving once the actual feast is over."  
The elder looked slightly affronted. "And leave me to deal with them all by myself?"  
Kíli pretended to look thoughtful for a moment, earning himself another elbow, and grinned. "Oh you know I'd never leave you, Fee."  
Suddenly his brother's gaze held a weight that Kíli didn't understand. "I hope not," But before the archer could try and decipher the look, Fíli smiled light-heartedly. "I wouldn't know what I'd do without my little brother."  
Kíli couldn't help the choked sound that bubbled in his throat and covered it up with a laugh. "You'd be utterly bored. Now come, brother. Let us finish our ale's before we return to our rooms."

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

\- O -

"Brother, you're up early."  
Kíli twisted on his seat at the private breakfast table in the royal wing and gave Fíli a happy smile around a mouthful of ham.  
The elder prince shook his head at the sight, before taking a seat across from Kíli and piling his own plate full from the spread of different meats, cheeses, and bread that lay across the table.  
"So what arduous meetings await you today?" Kíli asked after swallowing.  
His brother rolled his eyes. "We are meeting with the delegation from the Iron Hills to discuss a new trading agreement and Thorin wants to meet with me this afternoon." Fíli speared a wedge of cheese. "Something about an announcement on the anniversary of the Battle."  
Kíli smirked. "Sounds riveting, brother. I'll think of you while I'm out hunting."  
Fíli looked down for a moment, chewing through the last of his mouthful. "You'd better let Uncle know you're leaving the Mountain."  
The young prince huffed. "Why? Uncle knows I am more than capable of taking care of myself."  
"That's not the point. You are leaving with a strange dwarf. Thorin would want to know."  
"I'm sure Uncle won't mind, Rordin seems honourable enough."  
Fíli gaped. "You've only just met him! You can't draw a conclusion like that after only speaking to someone for five minutes! You need to be less trusting, brother. After all, we know nothing about him."  
Kíli frowned. "You sound more like Thorin everyday."  
Which caused the elder to scowl. "It's sense is what it is."  
The young prince felt his frown deepen into a scowl of his own. "Are you saying I'm stupid?"  
"No!" Fíli sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm just saying you should be more careful."  
Kíli couldn't help but feel the first stirrings of anger. "I _am_ careful!"  
The elder's eyes hardened as he regarded him. "And what if he turns on you? Or you come across a pack of orcs? What then?"  
"Why would he-? And orcs this close to Erebor with our routine patrols? Fíli really, you are being ridicules."  
Fíli glared now. "And I'm not sure you are really thinking this through, Kíli."  
Kíli gawped at him.  
"Think about it, brother." The elder insisted before he could say anything. "What if he were to turn on you unexpectedly? The price for your return would be of great value indeed."  
Kíli's mouth opened and closed, momentarily at a loss for words before he regained some composure. "What has gotten into you, Fee?"  
He frowned. "What?"  
The young prince waved an arm in Fíli's direction. "This behaviour of yours, its-its…not you."  
Fíli crossed his arms, giving the younger a long look. "This has nothing to do with me. This is about you. We both know that should he draw his bow against you, there is little you could do to prevent it."  
Kíli felt his anger drain away to be replaced by hurt. It stung. "We were raised together, taught together, have fought together. You _know_ how well I can fight, I was with you through every step of our quest to reclaim Erebor. Since when did you begin to doubt me, Fee?"  
The elder raised his eyes towards the ceiling. "You are taking this out of proportion, brother. I am simply thinking of your safety."  
"Then you should know that I will be perfectly safe!" He snapped, pushing his plate away before rising abruptly.  
"Kee, wait!"  
But Kíli ignored him, rushing from the room towards his own chambers. Maybe he was overreacting somewhat, maybe Fíli even had a point. But, and perhaps a bit childishly, Kíli felt a small sense of betrayal at his brother's words. Kíli wasn't a dwarfling anymore and it hurt that Fíli was treating him like one.

\- O - O - O -

"Kíli?"  
The young prince glanced over at Rordin, the dwarrow's pony easily keeping pace beside his own as they trotted towards the forests not far from Erebor. "Hmm?"  
The dwarf shifted in apparent discomfort upon his saddle. "Forgive me, but…you seem quiet this morning."  
It was true enough, Kíli was still smarting from the argument with his brother, the fact that they rarely fought making it that much worse. Of course, that wasn't the only reason why he still found himself quite angry.  
Despite Fíli's words, Kíli _was_ careful and, even with his own previous reluctance, had told Thorin that he was leaving the Mountain and with whom. His Uncle had proceeded to lecture the young prince on his safety and allowed him to go on the condition that he take a guard.  
 _Allowed!_ And guarded no less. Like he was a mere dwarfling incapable of defending himself.  
Yes, Kíli was still fuming, but that didn't excuse the fact that he was obviously, though unintentionally, ignoring his companion.  
Feeling suddenly rather guilty, Kíli turned to the dwarrow. "I am sorry. I have weight on my mind, but that is no excuse."  
Rordin waved a hand. "Worry not. Though if you wish, we can always hunt another day."  
Kíli shook his head. "No. I am looking forward to it, truly." And for the rest of their journey, the young prince made the effort to engage his companion in idle conversation.  
A while later they finally reached the edge of the forest and Kíli found the remains of his anger drain away, excitement making it's place.  
Nimbly hopping down from his pony, Kíli couldn't help the grin that spread across his face. "We'll leave the ponies here." He announced, tying his mare to a low hanging branch.  
Rordin and Lórik, the guard whom Thorin had assigned, followed suit and soon the trio headed past the thick wall of trees and into the forest beyond.  
Much to Kíli's disappointment, the morning passed in an uneventful fashion, none of them catching so much as a whiff of rabbit, bore or deer nearby. It was after lunch, however, that the young prince finally stumbled across a set of tracks leading deeper into the forest.  
Kneeling down, Kíli felt the hoofed prints stamped into the mud and, after noting their softness, quickly strung up, gesturing wildly for Rordin.  
"Deer. And the tracks are fresh." The prince whispered quickly when the dwarrow approached him, indicating the prints.  
In silent and mutual understanding, both dwarves withdrew their bow's and loosely nocked their arrow's onto the string.  
Several hushed words were exchanged between the prince and Lórik then, the guard agreeing to hang back only after a short lived argument, in which Kíli glared until the other backed down.  
Satisfied that the guard wasn't going to scare off their game with his decidedly more prominent footsteps, Kíli and Rordin began to follow the deer tracks with mutual feelings of mounting excitement and adrenalin.  
It took the better part of an hour, but finally the two dwarves spotted a lone stag grazing on a small patch of grass between the trees some distance away.  
After sampling the air, Kíli grinned. Luck was on their side and they were downwind of their hunt.  
Keeping his steps light, the prince stepped forward until he had a clear sight of his target. Kíli raised and drew his bow, taking a deep breath and he centred his target.  
Of course, he was so focused on the stag, that he missed the fact that Rordin had done the same. However, it seemed his companion had little patience and Kíli's first warning that he had fired his arrow, was the whoosh of wind as it sped past him.  
The arrow hit his mark, but Kíli noted with dismay that Rordin had shot the stag in his upper right shoulder and failed to kill it.  
With a screech of pain, the stag bucked and turned to flee.  
Kíli didn't think, simply acted.  
In the next instant he realigned his target and, exhaling the breath he had been holding, released the arrow.  
It flew from between his fingers with hard learnt accuracy and struck the stag just below his eye, killing it in an instantly.  
Paired with a whoop of victory, Kíli raised his fist in the air and turned towards Rordin, his grin so wide it was almost painful.  
The dwarrow wasn't looking at him however, his eyes widened in awe as he gazed at the fallen stag.  
"By my beard!" Rordin exclaimed, finally turning his awed look upon the prince. "How did you manage that?"  
Kíli laughed clamping an around across Rordin's shoulders. "Come, I will teach you."

\- O - O - O -

It was near nightfall when the trio approached the Mountain, Rordin astride behind Kíli as their cargo of four rabbits, two hare and a stag lay draped across the darrow's pony.  
"I would be honoured if we could hunt again." Rordin said, his arms secured loosely around the prince's waist so that he wouldn't fall off as the pony manoeuvred across the uneven terrain.  
"I would like that very much indeed!" And Kíli grinned, pleased with the time they had spent together and eager to do so again. He sincerely hoped that one day he might even be able to count Rordin as a close friend.  
"I must say, I still cannot get over how easily you shot that stag. And with such precision!"  
Kíli flushed in pleasure. "And with a bit more guidance, I have no doubt that you will be able to as well." It was true that the dwarrow wasn't quite as skilled with the bow as the prince was, but Kíli was sincere in his words, knowing that Rordin could easily accomplish it.  
"Oh I don't know about that." The dwarf scoffed, before leaning closer so that only the prince could hear his words. "Do you know that I almost shot Lórik?"  
"W-what?" Kíli spluttered, trying to choke down his sudden mirth.  
Rordin chuckled. "It was just before you took down the second rabbit, I didn't realise he had wandered around to my left and when I saw the movement simply aimed. It's a good thing I realised before it was too late!"  
Kíli couldn't contain himself then and was unable to answer through his peels of laugher.  
It was then that they reached Erebor and belatedly, Kíli noticed his brother standing before the gates.  
The youngest prince had never been able to stay angry at Fíli for long and with his added elation over a successful day's hunting, the hurt he felt from their argument had lessened considerably. But, when he noticed his brother's stiff, closed off posture and carefully impassive face, the last of his anger was completely forgotten in the face of sudden concern. Something was wrong.  
Kíli had to wait until Rordin dismounted, before impatiently doing so himself and rushing to his brother's side. "Fee, what is it?"  
Fíli merely shook his head, his eyes unreadable as he grabbed a hold of his brother's hand and began leading him into the Mountain.  
So wrapped up in concern over his brother's behaviour, Kíli barely felt the tingle that raced up his arm at the contact, and didn't even spare Rordin so much as a glance as they left.  
"Tell me! What's happened?" He urged, trying to swallow his rising panic.  
Again Fíli didn't answer, or even acknowledge his question, simply continued to pull Kíli through the vast halls and over the walkways towards the royal wing.  
"Fíli you're scaring me! Is it our kin? Is mother alright? Uncle?"  
"They're fine." His brother managed at last, but his voice was strained.  
Finally they arrived at the elder's chambers and Fíli wasted no time in pulling his brother inside, closing the door firmly behind them.  
"What is going on?" Kíli demanded the moment they were alone.  
But once again, Fíli didn't answer, simply stood with his back turned, breathing deeply, his hand resting against the door.  
Despite his growing impatience over wanting an answer, Kíli was really worried now and slowly walked towards his brother, hesitating before laying a palm between his shoulder blades. Fíli was tense, his muscles wound so tight that he felt like stone beneath Kíli's fingers. "Fee?" He whispered, worry twisting his voice with anguish. "Please brother, tell me what's happened."  
Fíli turned to face him then and Kíli almost gasped at the sight of his eyes. The usually clear blue suddenly filled with so much turmoil and anguish of their own.  
"Kee-" He began, but his voice broke.  
Kíli wasted no time and stepped closer, wrapping the elder in a tight embrace.  
Fíli gave a shuddering sigh, his own arms winding around his brother's waist and Kíli heard him swallow several times before finally speaking.  
The words were raspy, more breathed than spoken, and as soon as he heard the them, it felt as though his heart had been ripped from his chest.  
"Kíli…I-I'm getting married."

To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

TRANSLATIONS:

Amad - Mother  
Kidhuzurâl - Golden one

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

\- O -

Breath was suddenly hard in coming, his chest constricting so painfully he thought he might be sick.  
 _'Kíli…I-I'm getting married.'_ That one simple sentence echoed around Kíli's numbed mind, the words repeating over and over like the worst kind of torture.  
With shock, he stumbled back from Fíli, gazing upon his brother with unconcealed horror.  
 _'-I'm getting married.'_  
Kíli always knew that this day would come, he'd steeled himself against it for years. But, in the face of it, the young prince suddenly realised that no amount of preparation could save him from the pain, the feeling of his heart shattering beneath his ribs, the pain of a loss that had never been his to lose in the first place.  
 _'-getting married.'_  
Kíli drew in a dragged, pained breath and tried unsuccessfully to school his expression into one more appropriate for such an announcement.  
"Brother, that's-that's…wonderful-"  
 _'-married.'_  
"-news." The words were like poison between his lips, but Kíli forced them out, even choked as they were. "Who's the lucky dwarrowdam?"  
Fíli shook his head, face paler than normal. "There isn't one…yet. Thorin has asked me to choose a bride before the anniversary of the Battle so that he may announce my marriage at the banquet." He paused for a moment, his next word's sounding bitter. "He said that it would bring great joy for the dwarves of Erebor to hear that their prince was marrying and producing heirs of his own."  
Kíli breathed out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Hearing that Fíli wasn't to be wed out of love for someone else easing his heart but a fraction, the youngest prince knowing that ultimately the outcome would be the same. Love or no.  
Before Kíli could say anything to that, his brother's face crumpled and he hung his head in his hands. "Kee, I-I don't want to get married!"  
In the face of his brother's own anguish, Kíli realised that he was being incredibly selfish, too caught up in his own grief to see that his brother didn't want this either.  
The young prince didn't hesitate to go him then and, for the second time that day, pulled the elder dwarf into his arms.  
His brother clung to him in a manner so desperate that Kíli felt his heart break all over again, this time for what Fíli had to face.  
He knew in that moment, regardless of what _he_ was feeling, he had to be there for his _brother_ , no matter the cost to himself. And so, Kíli stamped hard on his emotions, his words coming easier because his brother's happiness meant everything to him.  
"Hey, come now." He soothed, rubbing his hands down Fíli's back. "Two weeks may not seem like a lot of time, but we'll work together, brother. I couldn't bare to see you unhappy, having to marry someone that you do not love." His voice very nearly broke then, but Kíli ploughed ahead. "We'll search every corner of Erebor if we have to, but we'll find a dwarf who will make your heart sing." Not a very dwarvish thing for him to say, but Kíli supposed that Tauriel was finally starting to rub off on him, the elf visited quite often after all.  
Fíli kept his arms loosely around his brother's waist, but drew back enough to give him a look so intense, yet unreadable, that Kíli's heart began to pound within his chest.  
"Kee…that's impossible."  
It wasn't the words, rather the way in which they were spoken that caused he lump in his throat, his stomach spasming in such a way that Kíli suddenly felt ashamed of himself. "D-don't say that, brother. There are plenty of dwarrowdams that would be worthy of your love."  
Kíli couldn't decipher the look the passed through his brother's gaze then, but suddenly they held a determined quality and he felt pinned beneath their weight.  
"That's not what I meant, Kíli. Not one of them will ever hold my heart because-"  
Kíli never got to hear the rest, as in the next moment they both jumped, the firm knock at the door startlingly the brothers apart.  
"Fíli?" It was their mother.

\- O - O - O -

Kíli sighed and slumped into an armchair while Fíli scrubbed a hand over his face before opening the door.  
"Ah boys! You're both here, excellent!" And Dís strode into the room, her long dark hair, reminiscent of Thorin's, swaying behind her.  
"What can we do for you, mother?" Fíli sighed, sitting in the chair next to Kíli's.  
Dís frowned at them, placing her hands upon her hips. "What in Mahal's name is wrong with the two of you?"  
"Sorry, amad." Fíli said apologetically. "We are simply tired."  
 _And that isn't untruthful either._ Kíli thought, emotionally and physically worn.  
Dís raised an eyebrow. "I would have thought you would be celebrating, son." She said to her eldest.  
"Ah, so Thorin has told you the good news." A faint bitterness only Kíli recognized heard within his brother's voice.  
She walked forward and placed her hand on Fíli's shoulder. "Yes he did. Oh I am so happy for you, kidhuzurâl!" She was smiling, missing or ignoring the brothers unenthusiasm. "I have long dreamt of the day I would see one of my sons marry. I have no doubt Fíli, that you will choose your future queen wisely."  
Fíli gave her a tight lipped smile while Kíli looked away, unable to keep from clenching his jaw.  
"Oh this is truly wonderful indeed! It was about time that you were motivated to find a wife, I expect that you would have avoided it otherwise."  
Kíli shifted uncomfortably. Wishing, perhaps horridly, that their mother would go and stop unknowingly driving the metaphorical blade deeper.  
"Mahal there is so much to plan!" Dís was saying. "I should imagine the wedding will be before year's end and there is so much to do-"  
"Mother!" The youngest prince couldn't stand it any longer. "Fíli hasn't even chosen a bride yet."  
Dís simply smirked. "One day you will understand the time these things take to prepare. Make no mistake, son, once Fíli is married, we shall find you a suitor as well. I hear you have made friends with a dwarf from the Iron Hills." She gave her youngest son a contemplative look while he simply gaped in return, wondering where she was going with this. "I shouldn't imagine Thorin would oppose a match to a dwarrow. Master Rordin is from a good bloodline after all, and by which time your brother should already be married with heirs on the way-"  
" _Enough!_ " It wasn't Kíli who had spoken, but his brother. Fíli's voice a barely contained growl, the tone, one he had never used with their mother before.  
Clearly Dís was as shocked as Kíli, for she stared at her son in silence thick enough to cut.  
"Enough." Fíli spoke softly this time, eyes locked onto their mother's with unwavering intensity. "I am sorry, amad, but right now I think we are both overwhelmed. Besides, Kíli has only known that…dwarf for a day. I doubt he has fallen in love with him in such a small space of time."  
It was then that Fíli turned those eyes on his brother, and Kíli was suddenly robbed of breath by the unmasked insecurity and doubt seen within them.  
Mahal forgive him, but Kíli was unable to prevent the unfamiliar feeling that suddenly spread across his chest and tightened his throat. Was it hope? He was unsure, but knew instinctively that it was a very dangerous thing to behold.  
Brown still locked with blue, Kíli watched as his brother's eyes began to widen, something akin to dread filling his gaze. He suddenly realised that he'd been silent for too long. "No." He spoke the word, not more than a whisper, before repeating it with increased volume and firmness. "No, brother. I do not love him."  
Was that relief in his brothers eyes? The feeling spread further until Kíli felt positively warm. He looked abruptly away. Very dangerous indeed.  
"Well…no matter." Dís said slowly, and the younger prince could feel the way she eyed the both of them. "There are plenty of dwarves, I suppose. You can't blame me for being hopeful to see both of my sons settled."  
Unable to stand it for another moment, Kíli stood. Between his mother's words and that Mahal-forsaken feeling, the prince felt the need to put distance between himself and them, especially his brother. He needed to gather his thoughts and compose himself once more, for if he allowed himself to hope, it would ultimately destroy him. "It is getting late, amad. I think it best if we head down to the hall for dinner and leave this conversation for another time."  
Dís looked at her son for a long moment, but finally agreed that it was a good idea.  
Without waiting for either of them, Kíli escaped.  
Later, as he thought over his interactions with his brother and then mother, the youngest prince realised that he had been walking a very tenuous line that day. Fíli's reactions, Kíli thought, could easily be put down to nerves and not wanting to see his brother in the same position as himself, but Aulë! If he were anymore obvious, Fíli would surely find out about his shameful love. Terror over the thought of _that_ discovery doused his mind with much needed clarity. The prince realised with a saddened heart that he would need more than just a moment away from his brother if he were to succeed in keeping his secret. He needed to rebuild his walls, needed to perfect the part of Fíli's silly younger brother once again, needed to put more permanent distance between them. The mere thought hurt, but it needed to be done. Fíli would never love him in return, it was time to reaffirm that fact within his mind and drive out the hope that threatened to take a hold.

To be continued…

* * *

AN: I know this chapter is a little short, but it felt right to leave it there and start a new one. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

TRANSLATIONS:

Nadad - Brother

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

\- O -

It had been nearly a week since the day that Fíli had announced that he was to be married, and Kíli was doing everything he could to avoid his brother. From picking up guard duty, to helping in the mines, even going as far as to assist Ori organising the library, Kíli made sure that as much of his time was taken as possible. He had, however, been on a hunting trip with Rordin again and had spent the past two nights at the Smith's Hammer with the dwarf.  
In fact, it was after a particularly late night of drinking that Kíli awoke, head thumping, to see Fíli sitting on the edge of his bed.  
"Fee?" He pulled himself into a sitting position and leaned back against the stone headboard, blinking several times to try and clear his blurred vision.  
"You have been avoiding me, brother." Fíli spoke calmly, save for undercurrent of hurt in his words.  
"What? No I haven't." Of course that was a lie, his brother knew it too.  
"I have barely seen you this past week, you are either 'busy' or with Rordin." His tone hardened to one laced with anger. "You can make time for that-that _dwarf_ , but not for me. Why are you being like this?"  
Kíli swallowed thickly, the need to protect his brother from the sinfulness of his love warring with the guilt he felt over abandoning him. "I am sorry, nadad. It was not my intention to hurt you."  
Fíli said nothing for a moment, regarding the younger with an impassive face. "Be that as it may, you are still spending an awful amount of your time with him."  
"He's my friend!" He exclaimed indignantly.  
Fíli raised one eyebrow. "I am sure that he wishes it were more.  
Kíli's own brow's furrowed in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
A dark look passed across the elder's face. "I've seen the way he looks at you. The adoration, the longing. Don't tell me you haven't noticed it, brother."  
Kíli gaped at him. Where was this coming from? "Rordin's looking at me with nothing of the sort, Fíli."  
The Crown Prince snorted. "Then you are blind. For the past two nights that you have been drinking with him, that dwarf has gazed at you with undisguised want."  
The younger prince spluttered completely stunned, until his brother's words sank in. "Have you been spying on me?"  
"No! Having been at the Smith's Hammer myself, it was impossible not to notice."  
Kíli felt his eyes narrow. "I didn't see you there."  
"Of course not. You were too wrapped up with _him!_ " Fíli glared now. "Tell me, brother. Do you have desires upon that dwarf?"  
Through his confusion and shock over his brothers behaviour, Kíli felt suddenly angry. It wasn't Fíli's fault, he had no idea exactly _where_ Kíli's desires lay, but that didn't stop the younger prince from feeling hurt. He could never love another as he did his brother. "His name is Rordin. And no, I've already told you that I do not care for him in such a way." How could the elder doubt his word? And why would Fíli care even if he did?  
 _Perhaps he's as damaged as you._ Kíli froze suddenly, the unbidden thought causing that damnable warmth of hope to spread throughout his chest once more. He'd worked so hard to be rid of it this past week and had almost succeeded, until now.  
"Fee…" Kíli hesitated, but suddenly the words came tumbling out of his mouth, completely without thought or consent. "what did you mean when you said that none of the dwarrowdam's would ever hold your heart?" The younger prince could have quite happily dug his own grave then. How stupid could he possibly be to voice such a question?  
However, the look that Fíli gave him, caused his heart to jump straight into his throat, where he struggled to swallow around it.  
Fíli opened his mouth as if to speak, but suddenly shut it again, looking down with an expression quickly flitting from surprise to sadness, until it finally became resigned. "It doesn't matter, Kee."  
Kíli wondered where all of his restraint had gone. "But-"  
"I have to go. Uncle has called for an assembly."  
He felt himself frown as his brother got up and made for the door. "For what?"  
Fíli opened the door and turned to look at him. "A presentation of suitors." And then he left, leaving Kíli suddenly unable to draw breath.

\- O - O - O -

He really shouldn't have been doing this, the youngest prince knew that, but was unable to help himself. Self preservation be damned.  
Slipping unnoticed into the Gallery of the Kings, Kíli hid in the shadow of one of the large pillars and from where he stood, could see Thorin sitting upon his throne, Fíli standing to his left and Dwalin on the right - taking the youngest prince's place in his absence.  
The assembly had already began, even now a dwarrow of noble blood, obvious in the fine tunic and furs he wore, stepped forth, presenting his daughter for inspection of suitorship.  
Kíli couldn't help but feel disgusted when the darrowdam looked upon his brother with undisguised want and longing. She didn't even know him! Kíli was however, relieved when Fíli merely gazed back with an indifferent expression. Thorin appeared not to be too impressed either, as a moment later he gave the subtle signal for her and her father to be lead from the Gallery.  
Thus the morning continued with much the same theme, only a handful of dwarrowdams allowed more than a few words in which to project themselves and their reasons for wanting to become Queen Consort.  
Kíli was only momentarily worried by a particularly pretty red-head, however, she too, soon proved to be just like the rest.  
The youngest prince shook his head, although feeling silently triumphant. His brother could never fall for one of these dwarrowdams. They were far too interested in wealth and gain, with little to no regard for the welfare of the dwarves of Erebor, nor Fíli as an individual - someone with more to offer than just a lined pocket.  
It was just before lunch and Kíli was starting to feel confident in the fact that none of the dwarrowdams presenting themselves were suitable. However, almost as soon as that thought crossed his mind, everything changed.  
The doors at the far end of the Gallery opened and in stepped a female, of confident bearing with long dark hair, even darker eyes and a short, neatly trimmed beard.  
Unlike the others, she was unaccompanied. And, undeterred by this, Kíli was about to scoff, thinking her just like the rest, when he suddenly noticed a vast difference in the unknown dwarrowdam, a difference that hadn't yet been present in any of the other potential suitors.  
Indeed, like the rest, she walked with surety, her back straight and head high, but instead of the lust and arrogance he had grown accustomed to seeing, there was a humble quality held within her gaze.  
Kíli swallowed thickly, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
The dwarrowdam stopped a few steps from the throne, bowing low before Thorin. "My King, I would like to thank you for you audience," She turned to Fíli, repeating the gesture. "and you as well, my Prince." Then, to everyone's shock, she bowed to Dwalin. The Captain rarely got any recognition from the audience and at this display, Kíli suddenly realised that this female was more of a threat than he first realised.  
His fears were only confirmed when his brother's face became one of intrigue and he stood just a little straighter in attention. Thorin, too, turned to her with an assessing look, seemingly pleased thus far.  
Kíli clenched his teeth, jaw so tight it almost hurt.  
"My Lords, I am Bessol, daughter of Eínwid. My father sends his deepest apologies for being unable to attend, he is currently in poor health."  
Thorin bowed his head in acquiescence. "My regards to your father and my hope that he returns to good health swiftly."  
The dwarrowdam positively wilted at this, her eyes glistening in gratitude. "Thank you, my King. My father will surely be honoured to hear of your kind words."  
Thorin didn't waste any more time. "Good. Now, tell me Bessol, daughter of Eínwid, what makes you think that you will one day be fit to rule beside my nephew?"  
Kíli grinned at his uncle's question. It was one of the most important, and one that every other dwarrowdam had failed.  
Bessol flushed then and looked down. "I cannot answer that, my Lord."  
Thorin raised a brow. "Oh? And why is that?"  
"I have had no education in the ruling of a kingdom, therefore I cannot answer the question. However," She said hesitantly, pausing to bite her lip. "I believe that even if I were to have studied every day of my life, it would still be inadequate."  
Thorin's face was impassive, but Kíli noticed with growing horror a spark of surprised pleasure. "Go on."  
She visibly swallowed. "Knowing that one is fit to rule comes in the experience of doing so, not simply learning how to. I do think, however, that any ruler must listen to their people, listen to their concern's and their want's above all else. Any king or queen would be unfit if they were to only think of themselves."  
Kíli felt like screaming. That…dwarrowdam had just given Thorin the perfect answer. That he could see the King's small smile was a testament to that fact. He couldn't bare to look at Fíli.  
Thorin, of course, didn't tell her so and simply proceeded with the next question. "If you were to come across a visiting dwarf in the market whom was lost, how would you instruct your guard to handle the situation?"  
Bessol's brow furrowed in evident confusion. "I wouldn't."  
Kíli almost whooped in triumph, but his elation quickly turned to dismay.  
"I would handle it myself." She stated, still sounding somewhat confused. "Anyone would deserve my attention, no matter their station or circumstance."  
Kíli did look at his brother then, Fíli's small, proud smile breaking a little of his heart. He didn't look at him again.  
Thorin continued to question Bessol at length for the next hour or so, and it became apparent that she was a kind and loyal dwarf, with a strong head and good morals. She answered all of Thorin's questions correctly, though was undoubtedly unaware of this fact, and it only solidified in Kíli's mind what he thought of the dwarrowdam.  
Bessol was exactly the kind of female that would make a fine queen one day and would more than likely be able to win Fíli's heart. And that was exactly why he hated her. She was his every fear embodied in one being.  
"There is just one more question." Thorin stated. "If Fíli were to offer you his hand in marriage this moment, would you take it?"  
Kíli felt his heart leap with a last shred of hope. _Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes._ He chanted, watching on with terror.  
The dwarrowdam looked more shocked by this question than any other and her eyes briefly flitted to the Crown Prince's. "No."  
The youngest prince drew in a sharp, ragged breath and quickly hid around the other side of the pillar, no one able to see him as he sank to the floor in despair.  
"Why?" Thorin's voice reached him and he shut his eyes as if that could stop Bessol's inevitable answer.  
"My Prince," And Kíli guessed that she had turned to address Fíli instead of Thorin. "I am sorry but I do not know you. I could not in good conscience accept your hand, if offered, without spending time with you first. I mean no disrespect." She hastened to assure. "But I will not marry without affection, royalty or not."  
Kíli didn't need to see Thorin's face to know that his expression would be one of approval, he didn't dare even think of what his brother's might be. But, if he did think about it, it would no doubt match their uncle's. He didn't need to see and he didn't need Fíli to tell him that he would choose her, he already knew.  
Before Thorin could dismiss Bessol, and he would, without telling her of the outcome, Kíli fled. He ran to his chambers as fast as he could, fighting tears the entire way.

\- O - O - O -

A knock sounded at his door later that night. "Kíli?"  
The younger prince didn't answer, didn't want to. His brother was the last person he wanted to see.  
Kíli closed his eyes and willed Fíli to go. Of course, it didn't work.  
" _Kíli?_ " His brother sounded worried now. "I know you're in there. The guard told me you haven't left since lunchtime."  
The younger prince remained silent, hoping his brother would think him asleep. But alas, a moment later he heard the door open and close and Fíli's footsteps as he crossed the room.  
"Kee?" He felt the weight of his brother's hand on his shoulder. "You missed dinner. What's wrong?"  
Kíli sighed, knowing that Fíli wouldn't leave him alone. "I…I'm not feeling very well." His voice was muffled by the fur covers that he hid under. "Just leave me be, I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning." _Or never._ He added silently.  
Without preamble, the furs were stripped away and Kíli glared up at his brother.  
Fíli ignored his look and gazed upon the younger with worry. "Shall I get Óin?"  
Couldn't his brother just leave him to grieve in peace? "No! Honestly, Fee, I'll be fine. Just _go_."  
But Fíli didn't go, instead he did something worse; crawled onto the bed and lay down beside him.  
Kíli shut his eyes, unable to look upon his brother's face without feeling his eyes well with tears.  
"I'm not leaving you, Kee."  
It was like a stab to his heart and one traitorous tear slipped from his eye and rolled down his cheek.  
His brother gasped and suddenly, he found himself pulled into Fíli's arms. "Brother, you are not unwell. Tell me what is wrong?!"  
Wrapped in both his brother's arms and scent, Kíli felt like he might go mad, perhaps he was already there. But madness or not, he found that he no longer cared what passed his lips. "Bessol will make you a good wife." The words were choked and bitter tasting on his tongue.  
He couldn't see Fíli's face, but felt him still. "You were there?" The elder guessed.  
"Yes. She is perfect in everyway, brother. I have no doubt that you will be very happy."  
"I haven't chosen anyone yet, let alone her." He disagreed.  
"You do not have to, I already know. She will easily capture your heart, like she caught your attention today."  
"I grant you that she's interesting and unlike any of the others, but really, brother! Love? Did I not already tell you that I could never love-"  
"Don't lie to me!" Yes, Kíli knew that he had surely lost his mind to jealousy and despair. "We both know that you will fall in love with her."  
Fíli pulled away to look his brother in the eye, but Kíli simply shut his. "Brother-" The elder tried, his voice suddenly anguished and laced with something that the younger couldn't name.  
"Don't, Fee." Kíli interrupted, unable to stand the pain any longer. "Just get out. I can't do this anymore."  
"I'm not leaving you!"  
Kíli did open his eyes then and glared, but his voice was soft. "Get out."  
Fíli's own eyes turned hard. "No. Not until you tell me exactly what is wrong."  
For twenty years this feeling had been boiling within him, growing, strengthening. And in that moment, Kíli couldn't stop himself. He suddenly had to know, consequences be damned.  
He swallowed thickly. "You really want to know?"  
Fíli raised himself on one arm, leaning over the younger with growing concern. "Yes."  
Kíli didn't hesitate, simply raised his head and pressed his lips against Fíli's in a desperate, longing kiss.

To be continued…

* * *

AN: A big thank you for those who have Followed, Favourited and Reviewed! Your support means a lot! Stay tuned for coming chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I just want to say a huge thank you to Thilbo4Ever for helping me. I really do appreciate it!

TRANSLATIONS:

Ûrzudel - Sun of all suns  
Men lananubukhs mênu - I love you  
Atamanel - Breath of all breaths  
Nadad - Brother  
Amad - Mother  
Azaghâlithûh - My warrior that is young

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

\- O -

Oh Mahal, he had finally done it. He was finally kissing Fíli, and his brother's lips were soft and warm and…unmoving.  
Kíli froze, a fear unlike anything he had ever felt like ice in his veins.  
He shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have given in. Would Fíli think him disgusting? Would the elder forgive him for this sin? Would their bond ever be the same?  
By Aulë, how could he be so…so, _stupid?!_  
These thoughts flew by in less time than it took to draw breath and he couldn't help the second tear that leaked from his eye, this one born from terror and regret.  
Kíli stiffened and, steeling himself against the repercussions of his actions, made to pull away from his brother.  
However, he had not put more than a hairsbreadths of distance between them when a hand suddenly snaked beneath his neck and Fíli crushed their lips together once more. His brother kissing him with such a sudden intensity, that it literally robbed him of the ability to think.  
He gasped and then their tongues were entwining, Fíli having slipped his into his brother's mouth.  
He heard Fíli groan and plunged his hands into the gold mane of hair, only vaguely aware of how soft it was.  
Oh Mahal. His brother was _everywhere_. His scent, his mouth on his, one hand tangled in his hair, one on his hip; pulling him closer until Kíli lay flush beneath the elder.  
He didn't bother to suppress his groan when he felt Fíli's growing hardness pressing against his own.  
Everything was better than he could have ever hoped to imagine.  
Fíli drew back then, his forehead resting against Kíli's as both bothers panted for breath.  
"We can't, Kee." His brother's voice was barely above a whisper, and Kíli would have been afraid if it wasn't for the unmistakable tone of regret.  
"I don't care, ûrzudel." Now that Kíli had tasted his dream, he never wanted to give it up. "I have wanted this, wanted you, for _years_."  
The elder groaned and buried his head in the crook of his brother's neck. "Thorin, nor mother, would ever allow it. We must stop, Kíli."  
"Men lananubukhs mênu."  
Fíli's head shot up and he looked down upon his brother in both fear and wonder.  
"I love you." Kíli repeated. "I have for decades."  
Fíli ran his thumb over his brother's bottom lip before cupping his cheek. "As I have loved you, atamanel." And he leaned down to press a tender kiss upon Kíli's lips.  
From slow and exploring, it quickly became passionate and uncontrolled. Fíli first removing his brother's tunic, then his own. Their movement's hurried and desperate under their need to be closer.  
His brother's skin felt like fire beneath Kíli's finger tips as he allowed them to stroke over the taught planes of Fíli's back, groaning as the elder kissed and nipped at the sensitive spot just below his ear.  
He was painfully hard by this point and ground up into Fíli. His brother groaning in return and biting his neck before soothing the spot with his tongue.  
Unable to help it, he moaned Fíli's name and was disappointed when the elder drew away to kneel between the spread of his legs.  
"Please, brother." He begged, the sight of Fíli's dishevelled hair and red, swollen lips almost enough to drive him over the edge then and there.  
Blue eyes locked with brown. "Are you sure, Kee? There will be no going back." His tone was serious, but his eyes held a heat and longing that was palpable.  
"Yes! Mahal, yes. I want to feel you, ûrzudel."  
That was all his brother needed to hear before he was on him once more, his mouth plundering and hands working to unlace the front of Kíli's breaches.  
Soon they were both naked, and the younger thought that nothing would ever feel quite as wonderful as the feel of his brother's skin sliding against his own.  
Of course, that was before Fíli lead a trail of open mouthed kisses down his chest and lower, until he hovered over his brother's leaking member. Breath hot and torturous against his flesh.  
The first swipe of tongue had Kíli's back arching off of the bed. The feel of his brother's mouth engulfing his length had him shouting out curses in Khuzdul.  
Fíli chuckled around him and Kíli fisted his hands into that golden hair, driving himself deeper into his brother's mouth.  
"By Aulë!" Kíli exclaimed, between the feel and sight of his brother's lips wrapped around his member, it was almost too much.  
Fíli's mouth left him then, but before the younger could utter a complaint, his lips and tongue were back, a slick finger suddenly at his entrance.  
All breath left his body as his brother pushed that single digit past the tight ring of muscles.  
Kíli was soon a whimpering mess, one finger becoming two as his brother stretched him almost to the point of pain.  
Balls tightening, he could feel himself drawing closer to completion and with effort, he pulled away. "S-second draw. O-oil" He panted.  
Within moments Fíli had returned and Kíli bit his lip at the sight of his brother slicking his own length.  
Once done, Fíli leaned over him, hitching one of the younger's legs around his waist and positioning himself at Kíli's entrance.  
"Tell me if it hurts, âzyungâl and I will stop." Fíli whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth before slowly pushing in.  
It did hurt, but Kíli had no intention of telling his brother so, simply gritting his teeth and holding onto the tops of Fíli's arms.  
When Fíli was completely inside him, the elder paused so his brother could grow accustomed to his girth.  
Kíli panted through the pain, but after several moments he felt the burn begin to subside as his body relaxed.  
Fíli captured his lips in a heated kiss as he began to move slowly within him.  
The younger brother felt like he was on fire, the pain growing less and less until pleasure took hold. Fíli then thrust against something within him that had Kíli crying out in nothing but pure pleasure. "Nadad!"  
Fíli understood and with every stroke, angled his hips to hit that sweet spot within him again and again.  
Soon his brother's thrusts became harder, deeper, faster. The only sounds were their ragged breaths, guttural moans and the slap on skin against skin.  
Fíli knelt back suddenly and threw one of Kíli's legs over his shoulder, the thrusting of his hips almost erratic now.  
Kíli knew that he would last much longer and fisted his length, pumping in time to his brother's thrusts. "Oh, nadad." He couldn't help but moan, before drawing in a sharp breath as Fíli slammed into him. Hard. "Ubzar!" He choked out, moaning when his brother did just that, driving deeper and deeper until he felt like he couldn't take it anymore.  
His orgasm was sudden and almost unexpected, and he came with his head thrown back and Fíli's name on his lips.  
His brother thrust twice more before he, too, reached competition and collapsed onto Kíli with a cry, his breath harsh and body sweaty.  
They lay entwined for several moments, their breathing evening out until finally, Fíli shifted his weight onto his elbows and gazed down at his brother.  
"Did I hurt you, âzyungâl?"  
Kíli shook his head and smiled, pulling Fíli into a lingering kiss,. He'd never felt so complete.

\- O - O - O -

"Are you finally satisfied that I have no feelings towards Rordin?" Kíli asked later as he lay with his head resting on his brother's chest.  
Fíli chuckled, stroking a hand down Kíli's arm. "Aye, brother. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have designs on _you_."  
The younger rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the small smile that curved his lips. Fíli was jealous of the dwarf, that much was now obvious, and Mahal forgive him, it made his stomach flip.  
"And what of you, atamanel?" Fíli asked. "Have I now proved that no other will ever hold my heart?"  
Kíli raised himself on one arm, unable to help his frown, nor his question. "What was it about Bessol that so interested you?" His frown deepening when his brother started to laugh, an embarrassed sound as a faint flush marred his cheeks.  
Jealousy reared it's ugly head and Kíli felt his eyes narrow. He moved away until he sat beside his brother and glared down at him. " _Fíli_." It was little more than spat between his clenched teeth.  
Laughed gone, his brother sat in one swift movement and cupped his cheek. "Kee, I love _you_."  
Kíli was undeterred. "Tell me."  
Fíli closed his eyes momentarily, before reopening them and brushing his thumb across the hollow of his brother's cheek. "Her hair, her eyes, her beard. They reminded me of _you_."  
"Oh." Kíli was unsure if this pleased him or made his jealousy worse.  
Fíli chuckled and pressed a kiss to his brother's mouth. "She could never be you, Kee. I could never feel for her as I do you. But, I will admit, that if I had to marry anyone, I wanted it to be someone who reminded me of you. The one I could never have." Fíli looked down, biting his lip. "It is wrong, I know."  
A warmth bloomed in Kíli's chest and it chased back the jealousy. "Oh nadad. You have me. I am yours. I always have been."  
Fíli's eyes met his once more and they were so full of love that it stole Kíli's breath. A moment later, the elder's mouth met his in a fevered kiss and after, they lay at peace together once more. Revelling in the feel of other wrapped in their arm's.

\- O - O - O -

When Kíli awoke the next morning, he'd never felt so warm and comfortable. Shifting his weight, he froze at the feel of someone pressed against his back.  
His eyes snapped open and the first thing he saw was the arm secured around his waist. An arm he recognised all too well.  
Memories of the night before came flooding into his mind and his sudden grin was almost painful.  
Fíli loved him. Finally, after years of looking from afar, of longing, of thinking it an impossibly, his brother returned his feelings.  
Somewhere deep inside him, a voice taunted him about the wrongness of their relationship, but Kíli silenced it. How could anything that felt so…so _right_ , be bad?  
Glancing over his shoulder, Kíli saw the gold of his brother's hair tangled with his own, Fíli's head pressed into the nape of his neck.  
Kíli shifted in his brother's grip, wanting to face the elder, but Fíli's arm tightened around him, muttering in his sleep as he pressed even closer.  
Finally, after a bit of manoeuvring, Kíli managed to wriggle onto his other side. The sight of his brother's sleeping face making his heart jump into his throat.  
Carding his fingers through his brother's hair, he then ran a thumb along his jaw and over his lips. Mahal, he was a truly beautiful dwarf and now, he was his.  
There was only the slightest change of breath to warn him that Fíli was awake, before blue eyes opened just as suddenly as his had and locked with brown.  
Kíli felt the briefest moment of fear. _Would Fíli regret what they done?_ But no sooner had he thought it, Fíli's eyes softened and he drew his brother into a tender, if not sleepy, kiss.  
"Atamanel," His brother said once he pulled away. "you are awake before me for once."  
Kíli smiled at him teasingly. "I was being suffocated by your grip."  
The elder scoffed. "I am sure you're talking about yourself, brother. In the years since we last shared a bed, I had quite forgotten your tendencies to strangle me while we sleep."  
Kíli punched him in the arm. "I do not-" But his words were forgotten, Fíli having rolled himself on top of the younger, naked and noticeably hard.  
"Oh." The word was exhaled on a shudder and Fíli smirked down at the younger.  
"Strangling aside, there are definite perks to sharing your bed."  
"And what are they?" Of course, Kíli knew exactly what the elder was talking about, his own arousal growing harder under the feel of Fíli's pressing against his.  
Fíli didn't answer, simply leaned down to capture his brother's lips.  
However, as his brother's tongue slipped into his mouth, a knock sounded at the door.  
With a curse, the elder was off of him in a flash and half way to Kíli's private bathroom before he remembered his discarded clothing from the night before.  
Another knock came and Kíli's heart was in his throat until Fíli finally hid himself away, clothing bundled in his arms.  
Making sure the furs were pulled around him, Kíli called for whoever it was to enter and wasn't surprised by the fact it was his mother.  
"Kíli, have you seen your brother this morning?" She asked without preamble, striding forth with no mind to the fact that her son was still in bed. Naked. "He's not in his room."  
It took every ounce of Kíli's self control not to look at the bathroom door. "I have only just awoken, amad."  
Dís frowned at him. "Son, it is late. You should not still be in bed at this hour of the morning."  
"I…couldn't sleep." That was partially true, but their mother didn't need to know that it was her eldest who had kept him awake until the early hours.  
Instead of being placated, Dís's frowned deepened and to his horror she came closer. "Are you feeling well? You were not at dinner last night."  
"I'm fine, I just wasn't hungry. But-" He added when his mother's gaze became worried. Kíli was _always_ hungry. "I snuck into the kitchens later on." It was suddenly rather hot. Was he sweating? He felt like he we sweating.  
"Hmm…" She eyed him with a considering look. "very well. Now get dressed, I want to see you eat something before your fitting."  
He frowned. "Fitting?"  
Dís sighed and raised her eyes to the ceiling before moving towards the door. "Honestly, azaghâlithûh. For your robes for the banquet, what else? We can't have a son of Duin wearing rags with all of those dignitaries present. What kind of example would we set?"  
Kíli rolled his eyes. _Of course._  
"Now then," She paused, her eyes sweeping his chamber and landing on his clothing from the previous day. They were still strewn about the place from where Fíli had thrown them.  
Kíli held his breath when her eyes snapped back to his, seeming suddenly piercing in their weight. "I will see you shortly for breakfast. Do try to tidy up at some point." And she left with a final look at one of his boots and where it lay on top of the mantel.

To be continued...

* * *

AN: A little bit of happiness in amongst all the angst. Stay tuned!


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry for the delay in updating, I struggled to write this chapter!

TRANSLATIONS:

Nadad - Brother

* * *

 **Chapter Six**

\- O -

Having somewhat of an eye for fine clothing, it had fallen on Dori to design and make Kíli's formal robes for the banquet.  
"Could your Highness pay attention?"  
Kíli scowled down at the older dwarf, startled from his daydream. "Do I have to stand here much longer?" He sulked, feeling as if he hadn't moved for hours.  
Dori huffed. "We would have been done already if you had been listening to my directions. Instead you've had your head in the clouds all morning. Now, raise your arm. A bit higher. Good, now don't move."  
Doing as ordered, Kíli flushed and looked away. Dori was right of course. He hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention, too consumed with thoughts of Fíli and their night together.  
Naturally, his thoughts began to wander once more and he couldn't help the smile that curved his lips. Lips that were still tingling from the bruising kiss the elder had bestowed upon him before leaving Kíli's chambers that morning.  
Mahal, even sore as he was from their coupling, he wanted his brother again. Wanted to feel the fullness of Fíli inside him as his brother-  
" _Ow!_ "  
"Well I did tell you to hold still, lad." Dori scolded, removing the pin from where he'd stuck the prince in the arm. "Like I said, head in the clouds." The older dwarf shook his head and tut-tutted.  
Fighting the urge to rub the sore spot above his elbow, Kíli was secretly grateful. He was feeling warm all over and was sure that had he finished that train of thought, it would have been rather obvious exactly where his mind had wandered.  
Eventually Dori declared that the prince didn't need to stay any longer and Kíli escaped with relief - the elder dwarf no doubt sharing the sentiment.  
With nothing planned for the rest of the day, and figuring his brother was still in a meeting with Thorin and the council, the youngest prince was heading back to his chambers to retrieve his bow when he met Rordin in the halls.  
"My Prince!" The dwarrow exclaimed when he saw him, Kíli scowling in return. Rordin had taken to calling him that whenever they saw one another and Kíli was sure that it was said deliberately to tease him, knowing that he hated being addressed so.  
Rordin merely grinned, unfazed by his expression. "I did not see you yesterday, I hope that you were not unwell. It was certainly quite an evening we had!"  
It took Kíli a moment to realise that the dwarf was referring to their heavy drinking the night before last. A night he'd quite forgotten about in the face of Fíli's requited affections. "Oh no, I was fine." _More than fine._ He added silently, biting his lip in an effort not to smile.  
"That's good to hear."  
"And what of you, Master Dwarf? Did the ale best you?"  
Rordin laughed. "Aye. I admit that I was somewhat worse for wear. In fact, I was going to ask if you wanted to train with me, but I doubt I could have shot the target, let alone the bullseye."  
Kíli inwardly breathed a sigh of relief that he hadn't asked. Much could have been different otherwise. "Well no matter, I was about to head to the range if you wanted to accompany me?" No sooner had he said the words, than the prickling of his skin alerted him to the fact that they were being watched.  
Eyes sweeping left and right, he saw no one. But, as he glanced over Rordin's shoulder, he saw Fíli standing in an entryway further along the corridor. Their eyes locked, blue boring into surprised brown.  
Kíli's heart leapt in his chest and he felt his lips tug up into a smile.  
"- my bow. I'll meet you there…Kíli? Kíli!"  
Kíli jerked, his gaze snapped back to Rordin's with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, what was that?"  
The dwarrow regarded him curiously for a moment, but didn't comment. "I was saying that I needed to retrieve my bow and that I'll meet you there."  
"Right." His eyes strayed to his brother, before focusing on the dwarf in front of him once more. "Yes, that's fine. I need to get mine anyway."  
Rordin nodded. "I will see you presently then." He paused as if waiting for the prince to say something, however Kíli remained silent. Seeming confused over the other's sudden behaviour change, the dwarrow nodded again and uttered his goodbyes.  
Kíli was only half listening, having noticed his brother had disappeared from sight. Quickly muttering his own words of parting, the prince hurried along the hall in search of Fíli and was disappointed to see that the adjoining corridor was empty.  
Letting out a small sigh, Kíli began to make his way towards his chambers, but hadn't managed more than several steps before an arm snaked out and dragged him into an alcove, his back meeting the wall a second later.  
He barely had more than a moment to register who had grabbed him, before Fíli's lips smashed against his own, the younger groaning when his brother's tongue thrust into his mouth.  
Whether it was Fíli's jealousy, or something else entirely that had driven his brother to act so carelessly in public, Kíli didn't care. He simply tangled his hands into elder's hair and drew him closer until they were pressed flush against one another.  
There were no words, only the sound of ragged breath and the feel of one mouth against the other.  
Eventually, after what felt like an age, Fíli drew back and pressed his forehead against Kíli's, blue eyes meeting brown once more.  
"Will you come to me later?" Fíli asked in little more than a whisper.  
Kíli raised an eyebrow. "Do you really need to ask, nadad?"  
The elder grinned, grazing the tips of his fingers across his brother's cheek. "After dinner?"  
Kíli nodded and leaned in to kiss the other. However, before he got the chance to explore Fíli's mouth in-depth, the sound of approaching footfalls had the brothers springing apart.  
As the slap of boot against stone drew closer, Fíli looked briefly over his shoulder and then pointedly at Kíli. "So I heard you're going to the range with Rordin today."  
Kíli smirked. He knew it was a ruse to keep whomever was approaching from being suspicious as to why the princes were standing silently in the corridor, but of all the conversation starters the elder could have picked, he chose this one. Kíli wasn't even surprised that Fíli had been listening in on his conversation with the dwarf. "Aye. It's been a couple of days since I last trained."  
The elder eyed him for a moment. "I see. Well, don't forget to train your swordplay as well, brother." He smirked. "In fact, we should spar together so I can make sure that your sword-arm isn't getting rusty from disuse."  
Kíli opened his mouth to retort with a rude remark, but quickly shut it again. An image of them half naked and sweaty suddenly at the forefront of his mind. Flushing hot, he was still unable to formulate a reply several moments later, causing his brother to laugh.  
"I do believe that this is the first I've ever seen you rendered speechless." The elder managed through his chortles.  
Kíli was scowling as the unknown dwarf finally drew level with them and stopped, a familiar calling out.  
"Ah Fíli! I was looking for you." Balin quickly closed in on the pair and smiled a greeting towards the younger prince. "Thorin is in session with the guard after lunch and I was hoping I might borrow you to sign off on several documents in his absence."  
Fíli bowed his head. "It will be my pleasure." He turned to Kíli. "I will see you later, brother."  
Kíli and Balin said their goodbyes and after sharing an intense look with Fíli, his brother left to attend to his duties and Kíli to retrieve his bow and meet with Rordin.

\- O - O - O -

"See I knew you could do it!" Kíli said, grinning. He and Rordin had spent most of the afternoon down at the archery range and after much coaching, had managed to teach the dwarrow how to make his arrow's spin in flight. After many frustrations and failed attempts, he had finally done it and tempted the young prince into a drink at the Smith's Hammer in thanks.  
Rordin raised his tankard. "Well it's all thanks to you, my Prince."  
Kíli rolled his eyes at that last part, but smiled nonetheless and drank deeply of his own ale before speaking. "Perhaps I'll teach you how to split and arrow next time."  
The dwarf gawped at him. "R-really? I've never known anyone able to do that!"  
Dwarves were creatures that prided themselves in their craft and Kíli was no different. His chest puffed out proudly. "It's all in the speed, my friend. Have no fear, with my help, you'll accomplish it in no time."  
Rordin grinned. "I would like that very much."  
At that moment a small group of dwarrowdams passed their table, giggling and whispering amongst each other as they shot the prince bashful looks from beneath their lashes.  
Kíli fought a sigh, this routine a familiar and unwelcome one.  
Rordin snorted and the young prince looked at his companion with a raised brow.  
"Well they aren't exactly subtle are they?" He said, waving a hand in the dwarrowdams vague direction.  
Kíli shook his head in agreement. "Right you are, my friend. Right you are." And he took a swallow from his tankard.  
"Are you attached?"  
So shocked by the question, Kíli promptly spat his ale over the table. "W-what?!"  
Rordin had the grace to look somewhat embarrassed. "I'm sorry, that was very forward of me." He shifted on his seat. "I was just curious is all. Many dwarves in your position would welcome the attention, but not you. I can't help but wonder if your affections lay specifically elsewhere."  
"I-" _Mahal's beard!_ Kíli thought frantically. What could he say? He didn't want to lie to the dwarrow he now considered a friend, but telling him the truth was out of the question. He couldn't even admit to an interest in someone without it raising questions he couldn't answer.  
Drawing in a calming breath, Kíli wondered what Fíli would say if he were posed the same query. "I'm…" _Having a secret relationship with my brother._ "not involved with anyone." He said finally, thankful his voice sounded steady. "Neither am I inclined towards soft curves and full lips." Perhaps he shouldn't have been quite so honest, but in a race were females were few, it was common for one male to find comfort or love in another.  
Rordin blinked at him for a moment and Kíli frowned at the sudden redness visible on his cheeks. "Oh. Well, fine. That makes two of us then." He cleared his throat. "It seems we find more things in common the more time we spend together.  
"Aye!" Relieved, Kíli laughed and deliberately redirected the attention from himself. "Now what about yourself? Are there any males in Erebor whom have caught your attention?"  
If possible, Rordin reddened even further. "I…I-"  
Kíli chuckled again and clapped a hand on the dwarf's arm. "You don't have to tell me. I understand." _All too completely._ He added silently.  
"No, I-it's just…" He trailed off and looked down for a moment, before meeting the prince's gaze once more. "there is one who I desire, but I am certain he does not feel the same in return."  
Kíli eyed his friend in sympathy. "Have you told him of your affections?"  
The dwarrow shook his head vehemently. "No! I will not embarrass myself so."  
The young prince leaned forward, staring Rordin in the eye with sincerity. "I have seen another hold their tongue through fear of rejection." Of course, he was really talking about himself. "He spent years alone, longing from afar, thinking that the other would not love them in return. But, eventually his emotions got the better of him and he finally admitted it. It turned out that the other dwarrow had loved him in return all along. I urge you not to keep your feelings to yourself for you may be pleasantly surprised. And besides, I have come to know that you're kind, funny, loyal and have skill in many weapons. Any dwarf would be lucky to have you, my friend."  
Rordin stared at Kíli with an open mouth and an expression that the prince couldn't quite decipher. "I…" He shook in a shuddering breath. "do you mean that?"  
Kíli smiled. "Without doubt."  
Rordin remained silent after that and Kíli knew that the dwarf was thinking over his words. The prince sincerely hoped that Rordin would heed what he'd said and tell this dwarf of his affections. He wanted to see his friend happy.  
A while later they left the Smith's Hammer and made their way into the dinning hall. Kíli searched for his brother the moment they entered and when his eyes met Fíli's, he smiled, feeling his own happiness surging within him.

\- O - O - O -

"Kee?"  
"Hmm?" He murmured, curling more firmly into Fíli's side.  
"I…" He felt more than heard his brother swallow thickly. "have something for you."  
Even tired as he was, Kíli's interest was piqued and he lifted his head from Fíli's chest, frowning when he saw how nervous the elder seemed. "What?"  
Fíli withdrew his arm from beneath his brother and leant over the side of the bed, coming back with a small box clutched in his hands.  
Kíli wasn't sure what was in it, but he suddenly felt very awake. He sat up hesitantly.  
"After helping Balin today, I went to the forges." Fíli began, shifting closer until he sat before the younger. "I-I know it's unorthodox, utterly wrong in fact, but I want to." And he opened the box, Kíli unable to contain his gasp as he gazed upon the contents.  
"I don't know what the future will hold for us," Kíli met his brother's eyes once more and although unspoken, knew exactly what Fíli was referring to. His betrothal. "but I love you, have always loved you. And I want you to know that no matter what happens, you will always be the one that hold's my heart."  
Kíli couldn't breath, bittersweet as the moment was, he felt his heart expand with happiness, never imagining that Fíli would go to such lengths, especially so quickly. "I-" Words failed him, so he simply leant forward to place a kiss upon his brother's lips.  
When he drew back Fíli's smile was blinding. "Is that an acceptance?"  
Kíli cupped the elder's cheek. "Of course it is you silly dwarf! How could I say no? I love you, Fee. So much."  
"Come here." Fíli said, voice horse with emotion. "Let me braid it into your hair."  
That suddenly stuck a thought with the younger. "Won't people see it?"  
His brother shook his head. "I've weave it under your hair."  
Kíli nodded and soon revelled in the feel of Fíli braiding the engraved mirthril bead into his hair. Such beads were only given to one another in love, a declaration to all who could see that one dwarf was bonded for life with another. This small bead was more important than the words of marriage itself.  
When Fíli was finished, Kíli reached under his hair and stroked the bead with reverence, tears pricking at his eyes when it was his turn to braid the matching one into his brother's hair.  
When it was done there was little else save for their whispered words of love and the slide of one body against the other.

To be continued…


	7. Author Note

**AUTHOR NOTE:** First of all I would like to profusely apologise for the fact that this is not a chapter, but I do not know how to add a note to the end of my last chapter since it has been so long after uploading it.

The reason for this note is to say that this story is not abandoned, even though it has been so long since I last updated. The reason for my tardiness is that since last updating, I have suffered 3 close family deaths which, in turn, has caused writers block that has lasted the past 7-8 months or so.

However, in the last few weeks, I've found myself with the growing urge to write and finally seem to be getting back on track.

In the meantime, I may write a few One-Shots in the hopes of breaking away some of the rust, but eventually I will update this story and continue with it until finished. I hope that it will not be too long!

Thank you all for your patience and understanding!

(Note Added: 27/03/17)


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